Small Animal Medicine
“If you’re high, you don’t die.”
“so nobody’s taking any pig pancreases and squeezing them…”
“and what happened? It took us 15-20 years to find out we’re dumb.”
“I’m just going to lay down on the floor and cry right now.”
“or it could be some by product that’s mostly chicken feathers.”
“I’m not going to get on the floor and seizure…”
“those other glands are sitting there having a picnic. They’re taking a nap.”
“if you just give them oral calcium, you may as well just sprinkle water on their legs.”
“everything gets revved up like a cat on red bull”
“they’re like sick chickens… they all look the same”
“In vet school, I think I highlighted ‘ruffled feathers and pasty vent’ for all the chickens.”
“The fact that you’re all here and relatively alert means that you had your morning cortisol surge”
“Iatrogenic… which means ‘my bad’”
“If I said ‘pop quiz!’… it takes about 4 minutes… but in 4 minutes you’d have doubled your cortisol.”
“the heart doesn’t like being bathed in potassium… if has no sense of humor about that.”
“the best test to see if a gland is dead is to kick it really hard and see if it moves.”
“we are going to come up to it and pharmacologically shout in its ear.”
“The whole point of being a tumor is not obeying the rules!”
“they think old age mandates them to look like that…”
“If you see someone pull up 1 cc of dex SP and put it in a small dog, have a sharp intake of breath”
“and then the tumor thinks ‘I may be small, but I’m not frightened!’”
“If Europeans can do it, surely Americans can too”
“I have like 2 multiple choice questions on your exam… keep that in mind.”
“sometimes foo foo dogs… you throw a ball at them… who cares?”
“can you see the distichia in these dogs? Crank up your imagination”
“Give all your clients a sharpei, boxer or pug for Christmas and keep yourself in business.”
“Animals that live on the couch are less likely to be impaled with a large stick than a hunting dog.”
“syncope and sudden death are the same except you wake up from one of them”
“your eye is not very good at hearing things”
Large Animal Medicine
“The mare doesn’t look sick then next thing you know *pffft* you have a dead fresh fetus on the ground.”
“Baytril is rampantly used in the small ruminant industry… if they’re ugly they’ll treat it with bayrtil.”
“In a pig, it’s an IP injection… intra-pig.”
“it’s not an AVMA recognized method of euthanasia… but if that’s your goal…”
“you can dance in a cow’s belly in muddy boots then hose them out and they’ll do fine. A horse would not tolerate that.”
“I’ll tell you this is a 3 year old thoroughbred racehorse… a good one… a fast one.. and he’s not been running good lately”
“You guys have enough on your plate without bearing weight on your sole.”
“Color is important in treatment!”
“Oprah Winfrey got… no… show some control… oh well, I started it.”
“pennis…pennis… it’s not a game you play with a raquet. It’s a male reproductive organ.”
“you can get out of a lot of things if you fake a seizure”
“the mounter or the mountee… whichever you prefer to be”
“that’s a big teat… or 2 testicles.”
“I kid you not… it’s made out of shark… woven something shark… no really, shark.”
“… well, the people that own them… the sheep and goat… they don’t know.”
“Once you are all the way in there, it’s a pleasurable experience”
“early stage feces… they call it feed”
“why do you guys laugh when I try to teach you things?”
“When you say things, people assume that you mean them”
“All my patient, as a food animal vet, die… and then we eat them”
“a lot, a lot, of dairy men are pinging their own cows… *laughter*… have a little decorum”
Emergency Medicine
“It makes sense that Florida has one…. They’ve been hit by hurricanes forever and 10 days.”
“It’s like tryingto text at a football game…it’s not going to happen.”
Primate Medicine
“monkeys are like Italian family… everything is going fine then WHAM something happens and somebody’s getting smacked.”
“we call them the cheerleaders, the younger breeder groups we have.”
“at some point, all of this gilded cage will end and you’re going to graduate.”
“so you’re starting to play doctor..”
“I can learn so much about you, Will, if I know your weight and look at your stool.”
“Don’t wear white. If you do, they’ll throw and you’ll get campylobacter and shigella.”
“lubrication is something we strive for in all aspects of sex”
Radiology
“it’s like saying they have 2 elbows. I simply don’t care.”
“it’s spondylosis deformans… and it all makes me yawn.”
“does everybody know what golf is? That Tiger Woods guy… just google it.”
“I’m Dr. E as you all know and I love imaging.”
“Or are these inspisated boogers?”
Surgery
“these are not tablets that are sent from heaven.”
“therio potential. *rocker fingers*”
“if surgery was easy, there wouldn’t be so many medicine people.”
SR Medicine
“And I’m sorry, if you walk in with a packed cell volume of 8, you’re getting ready to die, you just may not know it yet.”
“you’re going to have a few animals out there who are problem children.”
“the parasites aren’t going to hurt the horses… so use them as a big vacuum cleaner.”
“We need to DEworm them… they did a fine job of worming themselves.”
“It’s sort of like a plumber… his plumbing always leaks”
“I’m sorry, this is not that… this is a testicle.. I see that now.”
“word got around that there was this guy you could scratch his back and he’d ejaculate… he was the most popular patient in the hospital”
“I’ve seen a lot of Chlamydia problems.”
Professor: “Do you have any experience?” Classmate:“With Chlamydia? yes. … no, I meant the vaccine!”
“you can eat and take care of business all in the same place… very efficient if you’re a cat.”
“once you get 3 or 4 parasites in there, it’s hard to get enough nutrition… I know… I was just talking about my granddaughter and now I’m calling them parasites… but that’s what they are!”
“there for a while, I was kind of a rockstar the goat world”
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Baby Goats!
The best part of large animal skills was definitely NOT being at school at 7AM every weekday for 3 weeks (5PM for 1 week and both times for 1 weekend) to feed and walk a horse. Or, really, several horses. I get it that knowing the husbandry of the animals we treat is important, but if I wanted the responsibility of owning a horse, I would own a horse.
The ACTUAL best part of large animal skills was the labs themselves. We learned how to cast cattle, which is a fancy word for pull them onto the ground using a strategically placed rope and 1 (or maybe 2) person (people.) We anesthetized pigs. We drew cow blood. We trimmed goat feet. Even better, we went and examined the baby research goats! There were babies from a couple days old to a couple months. They were so very cute.
It's things like this that remind me why I'm here.
The ACTUAL best part of large animal skills was the labs themselves. We learned how to cast cattle, which is a fancy word for pull them onto the ground using a strategically placed rope and 1 (or maybe 2) person (people.) We anesthetized pigs. We drew cow blood. We trimmed goat feet. Even better, we went and examined the baby research goats! There were babies from a couple days old to a couple months. They were so very cute.
It's things like this that remind me why I'm here.
It's Like Being 14 Again
One of my professors recently said that being a 3rd year in vet school is like being 15. You're almost grown up, and you want it so bad, but there's nothing you can do to speed it up. It's so close you can taste it, but it's just out of reach.
But, I think that it's like being 14. The dream, the growing up, the independance of it all is so close. The license is close. But 4th year is like being 15. You're almost there. You've got a learners permit. You get to try it in real life. There are real risks and real rewards but there's someone there watching over you, guarding your back.
I can't wait. I want to grow up!
But, I think that it's like being 14. The dream, the growing up, the independance of it all is so close. The license is close. But 4th year is like being 15. You're almost there. You've got a learners permit. You get to try it in real life. There are real risks and real rewards but there's someone there watching over you, guarding your back.
I can't wait. I want to grow up!
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
My Own Animals Are a Great Learning Experience
My kitty, Elli, has a long and sordid medical history (this is my favorite way to start this story! It’s the vet student equivalent of “on a dark and stormy night…”)
The important part of her history is that she has a history of (really severe) reaction to vaccinations. This is really not all that uncommon, though I would argue that the degree of severity she had is out of the ordinary. She also is really freaked out at the vet… she spikes a stress fever and even develops a heart murmur only in the clinic (I can hear it at the clinic and not at home, and she’s even had an echocardiogram).
When we moved back to vet school after a summer at home, I noticed that Elli was coughing. She’d had a coughing spell for a couple minutes a couple times a week. One of those all out cat coughs where they flatten themselves toward the ground and streeeeetch their necks out. I took her home with me to the Banfield I worked at over the summer and we narrowed it down to being feline asthma or potentially an upper respiratory tract infection. We ended up giving her depo-medrol (a long acting steroid) with a presumptive diagnosis of feline asthma.
A week and a half later, I noticed that she has a mass about the size of a pecan right where she got the injection.
I talked to one of the feline internal medicine professors (Dr. Zoran) about her medical history, long term and her more recent. She told me to never ever ever again give Elli depo-medrol, because she’s probably reacting to the substances that make the depo-medrol a long acting steroid. She told me to aspirate the mass and take the stained slides to Dr. Barton (the oncologist/cytologist). I actually went and told Dr. Barton the same story and she told me that she’s never seen/heard of/read about a sarcoma (cancer) associated with depo-medrol (though they are associated with vaccines). She gave me instructions about what kind of sample to take (she wanted a core biopsy.)
My friend Ashley and I pinned Elli down at home and took a core biopsy of the mass. When we pulled the needle out, she oozed out some lemon pudding consistency material. (Don’t you love how pathology uses food descriptions?) So we took an impression smear of that and then decided to try to aspirate the mass.
I stained the slides then looked at them with Dr. Barton. We went over them and found the mass was just full of necrotic tissue, with some degenerating neutrophils and a little bit of the drug.
It’s fun to learn from my own pets! (Though, I hope Elli doesn’t develop any more medical problems for a long time!)
The important part of her history is that she has a history of (really severe) reaction to vaccinations. This is really not all that uncommon, though I would argue that the degree of severity she had is out of the ordinary. She also is really freaked out at the vet… she spikes a stress fever and even develops a heart murmur only in the clinic (I can hear it at the clinic and not at home, and she’s even had an echocardiogram).
When we moved back to vet school after a summer at home, I noticed that Elli was coughing. She’d had a coughing spell for a couple minutes a couple times a week. One of those all out cat coughs where they flatten themselves toward the ground and streeeeetch their necks out. I took her home with me to the Banfield I worked at over the summer and we narrowed it down to being feline asthma or potentially an upper respiratory tract infection. We ended up giving her depo-medrol (a long acting steroid) with a presumptive diagnosis of feline asthma.
A week and a half later, I noticed that she has a mass about the size of a pecan right where she got the injection.
I talked to one of the feline internal medicine professors (Dr. Zoran) about her medical history, long term and her more recent. She told me to never ever ever again give Elli depo-medrol, because she’s probably reacting to the substances that make the depo-medrol a long acting steroid. She told me to aspirate the mass and take the stained slides to Dr. Barton (the oncologist/cytologist). I actually went and told Dr. Barton the same story and she told me that she’s never seen/heard of/read about a sarcoma (cancer) associated with depo-medrol (though they are associated with vaccines). She gave me instructions about what kind of sample to take (she wanted a core biopsy.)
My friend Ashley and I pinned Elli down at home and took a core biopsy of the mass. When we pulled the needle out, she oozed out some lemon pudding consistency material. (Don’t you love how pathology uses food descriptions?) So we took an impression smear of that and then decided to try to aspirate the mass.
I stained the slides then looked at them with Dr. Barton. We went over them and found the mass was just full of necrotic tissue, with some degenerating neutrophils and a little bit of the drug.
It’s fun to learn from my own pets! (Though, I hope Elli doesn’t develop any more medical problems for a long time!)
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Surgery
Surgery class is intense. All of the group positions are intimidating in their own way.
The anesthetist is responsible for maintenance and monitoring the patient for the duration of the surgery. This involves taking measurements every 5 minutes for the entire surgery time. That's a lot of measurements. And they're in charge of making sure the animal stays under anesthesia. At the end, they're responsible for euthanzing the animal, which is a weighty and emotionally, if not technically, difficult process.
The surgeon and assistant surgeon are responsible for cutting into the flesh of an animal, maintaining the sterility of the area, and closing the incisions they make. This process is done with various teachers circling around and watching you like a hawk. There's the added problem that you want to ask questions but it often feels like asking questions and having your work evaluated by an already-trained eye (rather than your and your partner's starting-to-be-trained eye) will make you lose points. While we're supposed to be in this to learn to do it right, it's hard for us to stomach earning a 17/25! Most of us are used to much higher grades than that!
The anesthetist is responsible for maintenance and monitoring the patient for the duration of the surgery. This involves taking measurements every 5 minutes for the entire surgery time. That's a lot of measurements. And they're in charge of making sure the animal stays under anesthesia. At the end, they're responsible for euthanzing the animal, which is a weighty and emotionally, if not technically, difficult process.
The surgeon and assistant surgeon are responsible for cutting into the flesh of an animal, maintaining the sterility of the area, and closing the incisions they make. This process is done with various teachers circling around and watching you like a hawk. There's the added problem that you want to ask questions but it often feels like asking questions and having your work evaluated by an already-trained eye (rather than your and your partner's starting-to-be-trained eye) will make you lose points. While we're supposed to be in this to learn to do it right, it's hard for us to stomach earning a 17/25! Most of us are used to much higher grades than that!
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Funny/Interesting Things Professors Say #5
Small animal medicine
“… I have a Bernese Mountain Dog… which is kind of ridiculous.”
“The other thing about cancer cells that’s really dastardly…”
“… well it won’t be available for the dogs that were dead…”
“…cut them off and put it under the mattress with a frog’s leg and it will go away.”
“I’d rather have 6 years with a boxer than 17 years with a Chihuahua”
“3 days later his right atrium ruptured… which is suboptimal”
“he will get revenge… in a multitude of ways… most involving urine and feces.”
“when clients freak out about amputation, I ask ‘how many legs do you have?’ and they say ‘well… 2.’ And I say ‘well, you do pretty well.’”
“and then the reconstruction people will build you a new nose and you and you can go into public.”
“no pet should die without the benefit of steroids.”
“the recurrent laryngeal nerve is something one avoids in surgery if one can.”
“there are lots of important things with long names in there… and some short names too.”
“we’re talking therapeutic radiation, not nuclear destruction…”
“a cure for cancer is to live long enough to die of something else.”
“that’s a surgery for a person really experienced at removing sphincters”
“this is the rectum of a dog… but it’s too close for you to tell that.”
“You can’t just walk up to someone you don’t know and say ‘this is a bad plan!’”
“And no one knew then that cisplatin splats cats…”
“I said ‘I don’t know if this treatment is going to be possible because we need to be able to get the bloodwork faster…’ and he said ‘Oh, ok. I’ll get a plane.’ And he flew in for every chemo treatment the dog needed.”
“perhaps they are smart about some things… but this is not one of them.”
Radiology
“if you think you can slap a cast on any fracture, you’re living in the 1940’s”
“if you’re left with a jaw that doesn’t work… you’re screwed”
“you can use your brain and be right a lot of the time.”
“but my grandma didn’t go to vet school… you did.”
“… I would be correct, and I would be a bad doctor”
Large animal medicine
“no matter what is wrong with a horse, with a heart rate of 120… it’s bad.”
“normal horses are pretty boring”
Animal Models
“Betty White’s writing kind of induces violence.. but she doesn’t do it herself… she’s kind of old..”
Surgery
“He’s young and nice… I’m going to try to fix that… I can’t fix the young…”
“I’m probably not going to bite your head off… almost definitely”
“… I have a Bernese Mountain Dog… which is kind of ridiculous.”
“The other thing about cancer cells that’s really dastardly…”
“… well it won’t be available for the dogs that were dead…”
“…cut them off and put it under the mattress with a frog’s leg and it will go away.”
“I’d rather have 6 years with a boxer than 17 years with a Chihuahua”
“3 days later his right atrium ruptured… which is suboptimal”
“he will get revenge… in a multitude of ways… most involving urine and feces.”
“when clients freak out about amputation, I ask ‘how many legs do you have?’ and they say ‘well… 2.’ And I say ‘well, you do pretty well.’”
“and then the reconstruction people will build you a new nose and you and you can go into public.”
“no pet should die without the benefit of steroids.”
“the recurrent laryngeal nerve is something one avoids in surgery if one can.”
“there are lots of important things with long names in there… and some short names too.”
“we’re talking therapeutic radiation, not nuclear destruction…”
“a cure for cancer is to live long enough to die of something else.”
“that’s a surgery for a person really experienced at removing sphincters”
“this is the rectum of a dog… but it’s too close for you to tell that.”
“You can’t just walk up to someone you don’t know and say ‘this is a bad plan!’”
“And no one knew then that cisplatin splats cats…”
“I said ‘I don’t know if this treatment is going to be possible because we need to be able to get the bloodwork faster…’ and he said ‘Oh, ok. I’ll get a plane.’ And he flew in for every chemo treatment the dog needed.”
“perhaps they are smart about some things… but this is not one of them.”
Radiology
“if you think you can slap a cast on any fracture, you’re living in the 1940’s”
“if you’re left with a jaw that doesn’t work… you’re screwed”
“you can use your brain and be right a lot of the time.”
“but my grandma didn’t go to vet school… you did.”
“… I would be correct, and I would be a bad doctor”
Large animal medicine
“no matter what is wrong with a horse, with a heart rate of 120… it’s bad.”
“normal horses are pretty boring”
Animal Models
“Betty White’s writing kind of induces violence.. but she doesn’t do it herself… she’s kind of old..”
Surgery
“He’s young and nice… I’m going to try to fix that… I can’t fix the young…”
“I’m probably not going to bite your head off… almost definitely”
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Emergency Response and Management
So far, my favorite class is my Emergency Response and Management elective. It's essentially about the process of preparing for and responding to crisis events. Those include any size natural disasters (tornadoes, hurricanes, earth quakes, flood, drought, etc.), infrastructure disasters (bridge collapse, fire, etc.), terrorist attacks, etc.
The grade in the class is based on completing 4 of the FEMA training classes for emergency response (and attendance.) Because of this, the students in this class will be in the first group of people that the vet school response team will pull from for students to take to disaster response.
We're also listening to lectures about the process of preparing a community for disasters- either in their area or what they should plan to do to shelter other communities.
I'm kind of hoping that something happens during 4th year that we'll get called to respond to! I think it would be awesome!
Actually, on this topic, September is Emergency Preparedness Month! You should check out this link and make sure that you and your pets are prepared!
http://www.ready.gov/america/
The grade in the class is based on completing 4 of the FEMA training classes for emergency response (and attendance.) Because of this, the students in this class will be in the first group of people that the vet school response team will pull from for students to take to disaster response.
We're also listening to lectures about the process of preparing a community for disasters- either in their area or what they should plan to do to shelter other communities.
I'm kind of hoping that something happens during 4th year that we'll get called to respond to! I think it would be awesome!
Actually, on this topic, September is Emergency Preparedness Month! You should check out this link and make sure that you and your pets are prepared!
http://www.ready.gov/america/
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